One Thousand Gifts

I have seen this on a few friends blogs and always loved reading them. Last week God really began to show me some of the "little gifts" and "little moments" that He gives me daily. Then, I was reminded of One Thousand Gifts. I searched the blog, read the story and am now inspired to do the same. I am excited to see what God shows me and how He reveals himself more to me. So today begins my list of One Thousand Gifts.

birthday weekend

last weekend was a party!!!!

it started off friday a girls night celebrating a friends 30th birthday. it was a relaxing evening complete with games and dessert. just perfect.

saturday began as aunt rebekah and cousin abigail arrived, as well as some great grandparents. they were here for carters bir 1st birthday which was sunday! but before carters birthday arrives, we celebrated the 1st birthday of miles patrick, carters best buddy (yep born only 38 hrs apart).

then after a fun filled busy saturday of family and friends we geared up for carters big bash on sunday! i woke up to a smiling baby as we sang him happy birthday for the very first time (a song he learned to love throughout the whole day!). we went to church and i was told carter was the best one in nursery...he think knew it was his birthday. then home, lunch, a nap and friends started arriving. it was such a special day. all of carters close friends and family came as we celebrated a boy and rejoiced in a life. God has definitely given us someone special. the kids played and played and carter indulged in his cake and presents. i couldn't of asked for a better way to remember the past year and honor carter on his special day.

12 months

looooong overdue...but hey, better late than never.

it is absolutely crazy how fast this boy is getting older, and how many new things he is doing. i cant keep up. well, carter finally started crawling on his knees his month! so long are the days of stained and stretched out shirts from crawling on his belly. every once in a while if he needs to get somewhere fast he will revert back to the belly, but he seems to be enjoying the new crawl. he has figured out how to crawl up the stairs and now thats all he wants to do. still working on how to get down though. carter loves to wave bye-bye and is trying so hard to talk. he is still imitating what we say and i just know one day a "real" word is going to pop out. lately it sounds like he is trying to say ball..."ba". carter also had his first grilled cheese sandwich and first pancakes this month, and of course loved them both. he is such a joy and such a good little boy. he has definitely stolen mommys heart!

he gives and takes away

as the weekend that marks 6 months since my grandmas death and one year since my sons birth approaches i have so many emotions. some i can explain, some i can't. some i can understand, some i can't.

thinking back over 2010, it has really been a season of loss for me. losing close friends through moves to other cities. slowly losing my mother day by day, moment by moment. losing my dear grandmother to a sudden sickness that she couldn't recover from. i decided i don't like loss. well, i don't like the feeling that comes with loss. i don't like the pain associated with loss. i don't like the tears that flow from loss. it's tough, i'm not going to lie.

but as i sit and write this tears of amazement fill my eyes! amazement from how much my Lord loves me. how much my Lord knows me. how perfect His plan is. so much so, that before my season of loss arrived He gave me a gift. a gift of a son. a gift named carter. i didn't realize it when he was born. i didn't realize through these times of loss. but oh how i realize it now. wow did God know what He was doing. before the creation of the world He had the seasons of my life placed. God gave me joy when he knew i would most need it. God gave me peace when he knew i would most need it. God gave me life when he knew i would most need it. God gave me a gift. a gift that amazes me everyday. a gift that i look at and wonder how blessed i am to get to be his mother. a gift that i dont deserve but gladly accept.

then there are days, like today, where the saddness of loss and the joy of my gift collide. collide as i ache knowing my grandmother won't get to see carter laughing and playing. or that my mother cant help me plan his 1st birthday party. or that he can't grow up playing in the park with his friends that moved away. i feel loss but comfort. grief but joy. sorrow but blessing, grace and mercy. i am beyond glad that i have a God that stands in the balance. a God that stands between my colliding emotions. a God that knows what i need and exactly when i need it. a God that is prepared for the seasons of my life way before i am.

so as this weekend is here and these emotions collide, i am going to celebrate. celebrate my grandma and who she was to me. celebrate my son and who he is to me.